"Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first."
From the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
“Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.” – Unknown
"I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
Rita Rudner
"It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him."
Mike Royko
"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
From an Adidas ad
"Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
Charles Schulz
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."
Franklin Jones
"Your sweat is your fat crying. Keep it up."
From a runner's T-shirt
"I don't believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging."
Marshall Brickman
“Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author
"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."
Brooks Johnson
“Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.”
Stanley from The Office
"There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."
Gabrielle Zevin
"Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas."
Esa Tikkannen
"I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly."
Bill Kirby
“Running: Cheaper than therapy.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt
"It's a hill. Get over it."
From a runner's T-shirt
"Start slow, then taper off."
Walt Stack
"If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway."
Don Kardong
"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."
Bill Dellinger