"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
From an Adidas ad
“Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author
"If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise."
P.Z. Pearce
"Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run."
Jumbo Elliot
"Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet."
Unknown
"How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you."
Jimmy Fallon
"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."
Brooks Johnson
"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
Martin Mull
“Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.”
Stanley from The Office
"I don't believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging."
Marshall Brickman
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
Erma Bombeck
"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
William James
"Start slow, then taper off."
Walt Stack
"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."
Bill Dellinger
"A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one."
Unknown
"Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."
Unknown
“I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty.” – Wendy Liebman
"If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."
Marty Stern
"If found on ground, please drag to finish line."
From a runner's T-shirt
Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.
-Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)