"I believe that the good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street."
Neil Armstrong
"Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television."
Victoria Wood
"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."
Brooks Johnson
"If found on ground, please drag to finish line."
From a runner's T-shirt
"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
Martin Mull
“I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.”
– Ryan Reynolds, actor
"It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him."
Mike Royko
"Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet."
Unknown
"Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."
Unknown
"It's a hill. Get over it."
From a runner's T-shirt
"If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise."
P.Z. Pearce
"Run like you stole something."
Unknown
"I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty."
Wendy Liebman
"I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly."
Bill Kirby
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
Erma Bombeck
"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
William James
"I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
Rita Rudner
"There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."
Gabrielle Zevin
“Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.” – Unknown
"Start slow, then taper off."
Walt Stack