"There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."
Gabrielle Zevin
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."
Franklin Jones
“I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.”
– Ryan Reynolds, actor
"If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway."
Don Kardong
"If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."
Marty Stern
"Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."
Unknown
"I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
Rita Rudner
"If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise."
P.Z. Pearce
"If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it."
Gene Thibeault
"Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
Charles Schulz
"I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster."
Robin Williams
"I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly."
Bill Kirby
"It's a hill. Get over it."
From a runner's T-shirt
“Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.”
Stanley from The Office
"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
Martin Mull
“Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author
"I believe that the good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street."
Neil Armstrong
"Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run."
Jumbo Elliot
"Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet."
Unknown
"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."
Brooks Johnson
"Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first."
From the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
"A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one."
Unknown
"Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas."
Esa Tikkannen
"If you feel bad at 10 miles, you're in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you're normal. If you don't feel bad at 26 miles, you're abnormal."
Rob de Castella
"How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you."
Jimmy Fallon
Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.
-Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
"It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him."
Mike Royko
"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
William James
"Run like hell and get the agony over with."
Clarence DeMar
"I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty."
Wendy Liebman
“I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty.” – Wendy Liebman
"Life is short. Running makes it seem longer."
Baron Hansen
"Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people."
From a runner's T-shirt
"Start slow, then taper off."
Walt Stack
“Running: Cheaper than therapy.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt
"Your sweat is your fat crying. Keep it up."
From a runner's T-shirt
"If found on ground, please drag to finish line."
From a runner's T-shirt
"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."
Bill Dellinger
"Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television."
Victoria Wood
"Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right shoe is choosing the left one."
Unknown
"Running won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework."
Unknown
"No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes."
Don Kardong
"Run like you stole something."
Unknown
“Don’t be a jogger, they’re the one’s who find dead bodies.” – Amanda Brooks
"Runner's logic: I'm tired. Let me go for a run."
Unknown
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
Erma Bombeck
"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
From an Adidas ad
"Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you."
From the back of a T-shirt
"I don't believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging."
Marshall Brickman
“Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.” – Unknown