Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.