It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
I think we need to become better strangers.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
We're donion rings.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
You looked better when I was drunk.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
You are so right. And I am so left.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
We should make like your parents and split.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.