Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
You look like my future ex wife.
I think we need to become better strangers.
We're donion rings.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
I really like you. So does my wife.
You looked better when I was drunk.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
"It's not me, it's you!"
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Can we still share a netflix account?
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.