Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
You look like my future ex wife.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Let’s make like a banana and split.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
We should make like your parents and split.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks