Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
We should make like your parents and split.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
You look like my future ex wife.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.