Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
You look like my future ex wife.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
I think we need to become better strangers.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.