Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
You looked better when I was drunk.
We're donion rings.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
You are so right. And I am so left.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.