You looked better when I was drunk.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
We're donion rings.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"It's not me, it's you!"
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.