Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call your sibling’s daughter, who is famous?
Star anise
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
and the second one Duplikate.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
I don’t have Great Expectations for my son.
I got him the other books by Dickens though.
I told my son to go find out what "nada" means in english
But he came back with nothing
I just told my family a pun about bees.
It was so good that everyone gave me hive fives.
What do you call a kid who wants to cannibalise his siblings?
A munchkin.
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
Who was Shakespeare's reptilian cousin?
Snakespeare
What are male twins inside a pregnant woman called?
Em-bro-yos.
I'm very proud of my family for owning such a musical property.
We live in A flat.
Aunt: Aw, look at you. You've got your father's eyes
Dad: Son, where's my glass eye?
Twin brothers just had a birthday
One turned twenty. The other turned twenty too.
What do you call Mary J Blige’s accommodating Irish cousin?
Mary O’Blige.
Bruce Lee had a vegan brother,Broco Lee.
I told my family this joke about a goat...
They said it was a baaaaad joke.
I booked an appointment at the orthopedist for my whole family.
We got joint problems.
Mr. and Mrs. Turner had a baby girl.
They named her Paige, and they just couldn't put her down.
Repetition is the Mother of learning.
So who's the father?
Daddycation.
My children got their good looks from their mother.
I kept mine.