Where do you find the nicest children in the world?
Germany. They're kinder.
What does your little sibling and Q have in common?
They will always rely on U.
My sister prefers taking the stairs, but I always take the elevator. I guess...
we are raised differently.
For years, my brother wanted to be an archeologist...
But ten years in, his career lies in ruins.
Did you know Stephen King has a son named Joe?
I’m not joking, but he is.
Don’t let your grandparents have daughters.
That’s how you get aunts.
The kids made cards for Mother's Day. I asked for a card as well, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,
on Sonday.
I just told my family a pun about bees.
It was so good that everyone gave me hive fives.
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing....
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
My sister wanted to marry the postman
but our parents didn't letter.
Shoutout to my grandparents...
Because that's the only way they can hear me.
Women should not have children after 34.
Really, 34 children are enough.
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.
My daughter wants a horse...
But first we need a stable income.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toe?
Mitosis!
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children.
It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from.
Bruce Lee had a vegan brother,Broco Lee.
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna1, Anna2
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
I was painting my room with my brother...
When I realised. He's not a very good brush.