What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
Someone stole my fragrance-free lotion...
It was a scentless act of cruelty.
What did the duck say when she purchased new lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
The girlfriend said she had to go file her nail because it was bothering her.
I asked, "Would that go under N for nail? Or M for Manicure?"
I got this new chapstick today...
It's the balm!