When does makeup run?
When you mascare it off.
Moisturiser is good for your skin...
Let that sink in.
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
What type of onion can't hold in moisture?
A leek.
The girlfriend said she had to go file her nail because it was bothering her.
I asked, "Would that go under N for nail? Or M for Manicure?"
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick....
She still isn't talking to me.