What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.