They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
There’s no trick in these pants.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
I am a mean green machine.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
I wanna bob for your apples.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead