I would totally carve your pumpkin.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
I am a mean green machine.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Nice pumpkins!
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
There’s no trick in these pants.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?