I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.