I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Ah! The element of surprise.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."