Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).