What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice