What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns