When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.