A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.