Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Car puns are really tiring
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub