Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.