How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.