I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Car puns are really tiring
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!