I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!