As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Car puns are really tiring
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.