What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.