A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
Car puns are really tiring
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.