It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.