"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
"You deserve better and so do I."
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"