You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
We should make like your parents and split.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
I really like you. So does my wife.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
We're donion rings.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Can we still share a netflix account?
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
"My cat doesn't like you."
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!