Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
You look like my future ex wife.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.