Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
"It's not me, it's you!"
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
You looked better when I was drunk.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
We're donion rings.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."