Dating Jokes

What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?

Oedipal Arrangements.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Sorry, I would’ve called sooner but my phone overheated...
I guess you’re just too hot for this dating app!
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
What’s a tree’s favorite dating site?
Timber.
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom?
He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn't have mushroom on its schedule.
Looking for a Wife
Fred is 34 years old and he is still single. One day, a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, why not find a girl who's just like your mother?" A few months later, they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Fred sighed, "My father doesn't like her."
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
I met your mother on a dating site.
I don't know, we just clicked.