"What did Frankenstein's monster say to his girlfriend?"
"Will you be my Valenstein?"
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
“Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.”
"Some bunny loves you."
I got a valentine from a pickle today...
It meant a great dill to me.
Say it ain’t snow.
I went to an Easter party as a Jesus cosplayer
I told them I was a crossplayer.
Your shirt must be made out of husband material.
What should you get Lassie, the star of the hit TV show, for Valentine's Day?
A cauliflower.
To beer or not to beer… That is the question.
"Happy Easter to all my peeps."
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis!
Shamrocks and shenanigans for all!
There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.
We’ve got serious chemistry.
Take a pitcher. It'll last longer.
You are un-beer-lievable!
Baking on Easter Sunday
Crust is risen! Hallelujah!
What's a pun's favorite love song?
"My Punny Valentine!"
Why did the Easter Egg hide?
Because he was a little chicken.
Saw what I thought was a large dog coloring Easter eggs.
Turned out to be a dyer wolf.
“Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?”
"I'm so egg-cited, I just can't hide it."
I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
I've been thinking of U periodically.
It takes one to snow one.
I wood never leaf you.
"You make me egg-static."
I'm fondue you, it's true
Distill my beating heart.
I think I found my perfect match
"Have an egg-cellent Easter."
You raise the bar.
I'm snow bored.
What’s the best dessert to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy cake!
What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hareline
Santa's beard is so long because he's bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaf clover?
You don't want to press your luck!
It's ice to meet you.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
But wait—there’s myrrh.
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.
I only have ice for you.
What’s the opposite of Easter?
Wester
I’m fondue you.
“The North Pole doesn’t import goods because it’s Elf Sufficient.”
"Have a hoppy Easter."
Are you a magnet? Because I find you very attractive.
He’s an elf-made man.
Sip, sip, horray!