You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
I have a heart-on for you.