Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.