What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"