Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.