What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
I'm glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.
Otherwise, I'd have been amputated at birth.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
Why did the T-Rex only sell hand-guns?
He was a small-arms dealer.
I lost my wrist watch somewhere near my house.
Now it’s the neighborhood watch.
Midwife (handing me the baby): "Make sure you’re supporting his head."
Me: "That’s a great head you have there, Well done!"
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
What do Mexicans wear on their heads in the pool?
Swimbreros.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What do you call a group of arms?
An army.
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.