My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
My wife bought me a scalp massager for Christmas, but I couldn't figure out what it was.
Turns out it was a real head scratcher.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Your spine.
What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A4 paper to my wife's spine.
She said she wanted a paperback for her birthday.
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!