I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Your spine.
What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A4 paper to my wife's spine.
She said she wanted a paperback for her birthday.
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A quarterback.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!