Lady sits down on a train. Man sitting next to her turns to her and says, "Lady, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen. That baby looks in a mirror, it's going to shatter. You oughta put a bag on that baby's head. That baby is just ugly." The woman, horrified, stands up and shouts for the conductor. "Conductor, this man has insulted me." "I'm so sorry, ma'am," the conductor replies. "What he did is totally unacceptable on this train. I will deal with him later, but for now, please come with me. We'll give you a nice seat in the first-class carriage — and a banana for your monkey.

Walter and Linda were a middle aged couple blessed with two beautiful daughters. Although they felt incredibly lucky for having their girls, Walter and Linda always yearned for a boy. They began trying for another baby, and it wasn’t long before Linda became pregnant. Nine months later, they welcomed a baby boy into the world. Walter was at work when his wife was rushed to hospital, so he got there as quickly as he could. To his confusion, his son didn't look like his daughter, he didn't have their pointed chin, his nose was much larger and so were his ears. “How did we get such a different baby?” he exclaimed to his wife. “It’s just not possible that I fathered him after we had those two girls.” Linda blushed, which made him shoot her a look of suspicion. “Have you been fooling around behind my back?” he asked. "Be honest." "I really didn't." She declared. "Not this time."