Because Jokes

Aren’t you supposed to be on top of that tree? Because you’re a star.
Are you Rudolph’s red nose? Because baby, I would say you glow.
I feel like a Christmas tree when you talk to me because I light up.
If you were a tree, you'd be an evergreen, because I bet you look this good year-round.
I could work with the elves in the ribbon-tying department because I'm a pretty knotty girl.
Do you celebrate Boxing Day? Because you're the whole package.
Call me Rudolph, because you just sleighed me.
Baby, we need to get together before Christmas, because you can't spell "love" with No-el.
Are you tinsel? Because I want you all over my tree.
Are you sitting on a candle? Because your booty is on fire.
Are you Christmas? Because I want to Merry you.
Call me your Christmas tree, because you're turning me on.
Is your name Winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.
Do you like the song "Jingle Bells"? Because you look like you go all the way!
Are you looking for a tree topper? Because I've been told I'm a star on top.
What's Written On This One!? There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: "Dear God, I am an 83-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna" The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: "Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. "By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office!"
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