A stoner is walking along the beach when he stumbles upon an old, dusty lamp. Curiosity gets the best of him, so he picks it up, gives it a rub, and—poof—a genie appears. "Mortal, you have summoned me, and you may have three wishes." the genie says, eyeing him seriously. "What is your first wish?" The stoner, already in a mellow mood, grins. "Alright, for my first wish, let's smoke a joint together." The genie, though a bit surprised, shrugs. With a snap of his fingers, a joint appears, and they light up, passing it back and forth in silence, enjoying the ocean breeze. After a few minutes, the genie says, "What's your second wish?" The stoner, eyes half-closed, nods and says, "For my second wish, let’s smoke another one." The genie obliges, conjuring up another joint, and they repeat the process, sinking deeper into relaxation. Once that joint’s burned down, the genie clears his throat, "So, what's your third wish?" The stoner thinks for a second, a slow smile spreading across his face. "Okay, for my third wish... let’s smoke one more." The genie raises an eyebrow but obliges him. So they spark up one last joint, and after they finish, the genie disappears into the lamp. A minute later, he pops out with chicken nuggets in his hand and asks: "So, what's your fourth wish?"

There were three receptionists at a convention each talking about how dodgy their coworkers were. The first said "Nobody is more dodgy than car salesmen. My colleagues will patch up a car so that it will drive just far enough away from the yard before it breaks down and then claim that it was in perfect working order." The second said, "That's nothing, I work in a law office. They'll represent your coworkers in court and make sure that they aren't responsible for that lemon. They're the dodgiest." "Wow, " the third receptionist said. That hits close to home. I recently bought a car that did exactly that. I drove it to work and parked, but when I came out after work, it wouldn't start. I took the car yard to court and their lawyer successfully argued that they weren't at fault." "So which was dodgier?" The first asked. "My colleagues. I work for the local police and while I was sitting in my broken down car in the station car park, trying to get it started, one of my colleagues reversed into me and then arrested me for reckless driving. "