Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.