Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.