Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.