Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.