Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.