Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!