Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.