Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.