My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!