"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles