"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”