“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green