"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."