"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."