"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”