"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin