“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"