“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain