“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest