My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
I'd want to know why the winters are so cold in America. I think Alaska local.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.