My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal