A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.