Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once