I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.