All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!