Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.