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Ancient Jokes

Mummy Puns
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Literary Pick Up Lines
Has anyone ever told you that you look like an ancient Chinese scroll? Because I can't stop looking you up and down.
Ancient Egypt Puns
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Funny Animal Quotes
“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”

- Terry Pratchett.