My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.